If you are watching Peacemaker on HBO PLUS MAX PRO ALL ACCESS or whatever it’s called (and frankly if you are not watching Peacemaker you really need to correct that mistake post haste) than you know that Hair Metal is BACK BABY!!!! Big time Sleaze Rock Revival happening and the Lil’ Dogg is here for it, wowzer!!!!
So of course we need to spray this magic moment with some Hi-Top AquaNet and declare not the greatest Hair Metal songs of All-Time cuz that’s too easy but instead let’s do the Most Underrated Hair Metal Songs of All-Time.
9. Enuff Z’nuff “New Thing”
Enuff Z’nuff may have had the absolute worst band name of All-Time and probably put out like the third to last ever Hair Metal album in ‘89 but the real kicker is this song is Capital A Awesome. They may look like knock-off Caldor’s bargain bin Poison but man alive does this song rip.
8. White Lion “Radar Love”
The other other other “White” animal band. This song kicks.
7. David Lee Roth “Yankee Rose”
David Lee Ruth’s first solo album is better than any post-Dave Van Halen record. And that is NOT debatable.
6. Living Colour “Glamour Boys”
Yes Living Colour are Hair Metal and no that’s not a bad thing.
5. Def Leppard “Animal”
Of all the mega hits on Hysteria this one gets the least play and it’s easily the best song.
4. David Lee Roth “Just Like Paradise”
Too much Diamond Dave? Not possible.
3. Tigertailz “Love Bomb Baby”
I don’t know what a Love Bomb is but after this ripper of a tune I’d like to find out.
2. Warrant “Down Boys”
Warrant takes an unbelievable amount of shit for “Cherry Pie” and “Heaven” and well frankly it’s rightfully so. Those songs are utter trash. But not “Down Boys”. Not where the down boys go.
1. Guns N Roses “Rocket Queen”
You might say “How can a song from the best band of the 80s be “underrated”? Fair question I suppose. And the answer would be cuz whenever the discussion of best GnR songs takes place “Rocket Queen” never gets a mention. Facts is facts and the fact is in an almost never ending catalog of great tunes “Rocket Queen” just might be the greatest song GnR ever created! It’s dark and mysterious and sleazy as hell including the ummmm…interlude shall we call it and then to top the whole thing off the Gunners go and just morph the whole thing into a two minute absolutely stunningly beautiful pop song. Just for shits and giggles. Just to say, “Yeah that’s right we could out Jovi Bon Jovi if we wanted to, we could out pop INXS and U2, we could thrown down a Beatles-esque ditty in a heartbeat, just with a snap of our fingers, no big thang.”
Hi-Top Table Athletics 