Everything’s Coming Up Boston

As the great warrior poet Phillip Collins once sang,

“This is the time to remember.

Cause it will not last forever.

These are the days to hold onto.

Cause we won’t although we’ll want to.”

Right now folks, everything is coming up Boston. Of the Big Four major American sport leagues, Boston/New England can currently lay claim to the #1 franchise spot in each. Unprecedented times we are living in.

First up, you have the NBA’s most dominant team your Boston Celtics. The mark of a truly great basketball team is one that wins even when they are playing like donkey shite. Just take a gander at last nights Win Probability Chart (which as Our Friend Marty rightly likes to point out is the best and only way to accurately predict a game’s outcome):

The Celtics were atrocious for 90% of the game but in the end they were still able to pull out a W. And that’s all that matters. Another check mark towards playoff home court advantage. The C’s have THE BEST DUO in basketball since Pierce and ‘Toine were roaming the parquet. They have an absolute gem in Sam Hauser. The rest of the team knows their exact role each night and plays it to a tea/tee/t/??? Marcus is at maximum Marcus-osity. This team is truly a sight to behold each night.

Next up we have the Bad Boys of Boylston Street. The Causeway Killers. The Friends of Eddie Coyle are an easy 14-2, top spot on the whole damn continent. Pucks are getting dumped then cycled then dumped again. The Blueliners are cracking skulls and scoring points. The goalie stands on his head every night. Shifts are played hard, fast and loose. The skate bags are smelly and the dumpers are massive. This is Olde Tyme Hockey folks. The kind Speedy Cecil Pillson played for the Saskatoon Musk Rats back in the Montreal Athletic Association. This is Ice Soccer they way Lord Stan himself intended. Go on ya, lads. Go on ya!

In the third most popular sport in the land, American Football, the New England Patriots just had their best weekend of the young season. They boast not one but two of the best sign callers in the game. They’re sitting prime in a playoff spot. And the whole team is well rested. It don’t get any better than that folks.

And last but certainly never least (according to the Globe anyways) we have our beloved Boston Red Stockings. Now at first glance you may say that the season was a disappointment and not much looks bright down on Landsdowne Street. But oh how wrong you’d be. Firstly, last season is the past. It mineaswell not even exist. We live in the present here at Hi Top. And the present is a present if you know what I mean. The Sox have one of the deepest Farm Systems in baseball and if you talk to the right people that matters more than any shiny World Series ring. The Fenway Sport Group is about to be $10 Billion with a B richer after they sell those wankers over at Liverpool Football Club (long live the Toffees! Everton for Life!). And what exactly do you think FSG is gonna do with all that cash??? Buy an F1 Team or the Washington Football Commanders???? Probably but there is also like a 0.5% chance they decide to spend big on the BoSox. And that is what we like to call a win folks.

So there you have it. What a time to be a mighty mighty Bostonian!!!


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