In Honor of the Zamboni Goalie, What Other “Emergency” Positions Should Exist in Other Sports?

By now I’m sure everyone has heard the story of the “emergency” goalie that got a W for the Hartford Carolina Whalers Hurricanes the other night:

Sure this story is great and all, but honestly the Lil’ Dogg is kinda over “Emergency Goalies”. Been there done that. Love the concept but we need to liven it up. Get creative. So introducing…

Hi-Topper Top 5 Emergency Sport Positions That Should Exist

5. NFL Kicker

This one is so obvious and on the nose that it actually hurts it’s ranking. It’s #1 in our hearts but #5 on the charts. The unintentional intentional comedy of an ice cold out of the stands amateur trying to nail a field goal with 300 lbs psychos coming at him is just too perfect.

4. MLB Right Fielder

Pitcher would be an all around bad idea and catcher would probably result in death but right fielder? Now that would be some serious suspense. Why Right Field? Traditionally that’s were you stick the worst player right? And baseball is all about that tradition. Now imagine you have a guy out in right field who’s a rank amateur, game on the line, runner on second trying to score and the ball off the bat is heading out to right. That’s some tension folks.

3. NBA Point Guard

Could an amateur, even a highly skilled one with experience, come out of the stands and dribble a basketball successfully up court on an NBA defense? I say he doesn’t get two feet before the ball is stripped.

2. NASCAR Driver

It’s just driving a car right? The only real talent appears to be the ability to not go the bathroom for like 8 hours.

1. PGA Putter

Not so much an “emergency” situation but more like a “make things more interesting” idea. What if once every round a PGA player had to pick someone out of the stands to make a putt for them? Could Johnny Duffer standing on the edge of the green decked out in his finest Callaway gear walk out of the gallery and drain a four footer on the big stage?

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